
A brief biography
of the author
| I
was born in London in 1936 of ordinary English parents and grew
up during the second world war. When I was five my family moved
to Coulsdon in Surrey which then still had the feel of a country
village. My earliest memories are of wading through fields of
wheat with skylarks singing their hearts out overhead on my
way to sun-dappled, secret bluebell woods with shady pools where
kingfishers, chaffinches, wrens, owls, butterflies, dragonflies,
spiders, lizards, snakes and every conceivable kind of beetle
scurried about on evidently vital business. Paradoxically, despite
the second world war and its Nazi bombs daily dropping indiscriminately
into this childhood dream, I felt quite safe on these sacred
expeditions which always began with my heading up to the downs
where, usually alone, sometimes with my kite, sometimes with
my brother, I relished each new secret exploration into the
fabulous and infinitely fascinating world of tiny creatures
that inhabited every myriad crevice and chink of what to me
was my personal realm.
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Sometimes, during these expeditions
I would encounter a lusty young farmhand with his shirt off
and be confronted with the perplexing truth that the sight of
a beautiful young man's body stirred in the depths of my being
a powerful mysterious instinct to touch, to caress,
to... what? I didn't know, though somehow I also
knew instinctively not to speak of this perplexing mystery to
either adults or childhood friends. Despite this early self
knowledge, I had no sexual experiences whatsoever during a decade
of primary and grammar schooling although I did occasionally
find myself almost overwhelmed by longings aroused by a select
few of the more athletic senior boys who seemed to belong to
an admirable and entirely unapproachable species of humanity
from me. |
| While
I was in my final year at grammar school, preparing for university,
my father’s wholesale catering supply business went bankrupt
(through no fault of his own - a change in government policy
removed his entire market at a stroke). Although this seemed
a disaster at the time I’ve since come to view this misfortune
of my father's as lucky for me personally because it prevented
my following a conventional path to a conventional profession.
I was only 15 but had passed seven subjects at GCE Ordinary
Level and easily got a job as a junior assistant - office boy
really - in an architectural office where I began evening studies
with a view to qualifying as an architect. However, after two
year's of working eight-hour days and studying three hours a
night, I was called up for national service. At the time this
seemed a possible escape from what had developed by now into
an overwhelming dread of my sexuality and its probably inescapable,
almost certainly dire consequences. |
| I
spent the next two years in the Royal Air Force where I was
trained in electronics and posted to the Far East. After a month
in Singapore I was posted to Ceylon (as it was then called)
for a year working as a non-commissioned officer in charge of
the Circuit Control Section of the Signals Centre, Negombo.
This was a large RAF airport and base a dozen miles north of
Colombo where my work consisted chiefly of selecting the best
frequencies for transmission and reception of radio signals
for CAF - the Commonwealth Air Forces Communications network.
It was my responsibility to maintain 24/7 ‘solid’ (i.e. interference-free)
radio communication with Circuit Control Centres in London,
Nairobi, Singapore and Melbourne, regardless of local atmospheric
conditions. (It was a peak year in the eleven-year sunspot cycle
at the time so this was no easy task.) I was also responsible
for servicing and maintenance of the receivers and teleprinters
and maintaining order in the section which consisted of about
twenty airmen. |
| "Corporal"
Wakeman in 1955 |
| In
the hut where I lived, my fellow national servicemen, all aged
between 18 and 20 and many of them gorgeous, strutted
about naked most of the time, boasting what they'd do to any
‘fucking queer’ who dared to approach them and I naively took
their hostility and bragging at face value and tried to become
invisible. I remember walking among the coconut palms at night
crying with loneliness and despair as I looked into the pools
of light in the huts that were our home where what I thought
of at that time as ‘normal’ men were laughing together, drinking
together and playing cards together. Curiously, all of this
somehow caused me to doubt the wisdom of the career in architecture
that had more or less been thrust on me but after leaving the
RAF (with a glowing discharge certificate), I was unable to
think of anything better to do and, still lacking the courage
to ‘drop out’, reluctantly returned to the same architectural
firm and studies. |
| For
the next four years I worked as a full-time architect at a number
of different practices and studied in the evenings at the Regent
Street Polytechnic (now the University of Westminster). I was
still living with my parents in Surrey so this involved the
misery of daily commuting. Although I was good at the work and
soon promoted to a well-paid executive position with a company
car, running major projects with graduate architects under me,
I was desperately lonely and unhappy and gradually became disenchanted
with the whole idea of architecture because I always found myself
working on projects I reviled. For example, one of my last jobs
before I dropped out of architecture involved designing pig-farrowing
and fattening houses for a farmer in Berkshire. The work was
being constructed by direct labour so my boss sent me to live
on the farm to supervise the laying and construction of the
various buildings. So I spent my days working on a project I
despised (with a sexy farmhand as my only distraction) and my
evenings arguing with the farmer that factory farming was immoral.
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| At
about this time I met and was desperately attracted to another
young architect. As far as I could tell he didn’t reciprocate
my feelings. I didn't dare tell him of course and thought I
was as lonely and miserable as it was humanly possible to be.
But when he got married and emigrated to Canada I hit rock bottom,
came within one minute of suicide, agonisingly decided against
it until, finally, in 1959, I ‘dropped out’ (although the term
hadn't yet been coined), sold ‘all my worldly goods’ and took
a one-way train ticket to the south of France. Looking back,
it seems to me that it was at this point that my adult life
began.
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| For
the next three years or so I lived in France - winters in Paris, summers in Provence
- and began pouring out novels and short stories full of anguish and romance.
Of course I knew better than anyone that there was nothing romantic about being
poor and alone in a big city because I was soon broke and had to do a range of
jobs to support myself. I washed dishes, painted houses, sold crêpes in the street
and worked as a waiter in various restaurants until, in one in Provence, to my
astonishment, I virtually became the manager. My French gradually became fluent
and I became more and more interested in the business of languages and language
learning and, for my last year in France, was able to eke out a precarious existence
giving private tuition in English to wealthy, usually mean, often exceedingly
eccentric, French aristocrats of both sexes - who usually, though not always,
made passes at me which I usually, though not always, rebuffed. |
| When
I returned to London in the early 1960’s I began teaching English
full time and in 1964 got a job at a recently-opened school
in central London called International House and was almost
immediately put in charge of their newly installed language
laboratory. At this time this was a completely new field and
as it happened my disparate experience in English teaching,
architecture and electronics stood me in good stead. For the
next six years I sublimated all my emotional and sexual despair
in pioneering methods of working with this complex equipment,
became a director of the school and travelled widely for them,
setting up schools, installing language laboratories, training
teachers to use them, giving lectures and seminars and so on
in Europe, North Africa, the Far East and the USA. During this
period also, I wrote and published a ground-breaking English
language course for foreign students called English Fast
and by 1970 it was selling well enough to support me modestly
and enable me to give up full-time teaching and lecturing to
return to more imaginative work. I'm happy to say I haven't
had a full-time job since. (See below for my bibliography.)
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In
1970, at the age of thirty-four, after a lifetime of vain boasting
that I was never ill I got diabetes. Once I’d got over the initial
shock of learning that I’d have to inject myself with insulin
every day for the rest of my life, the inevitable question ‘why
me?’ demanded an answer. So I began reading on the subject and
soon discovered I’d been eating entirely the wrong diet. This
is a big subject and this isn’t the place to go into it. Suffice
to say that had I known then what I know now I needn’t have
become diabetic at all. So - despite my early concerns for animal
welfare - my original reasons for changing to a vegan wholefood
diet, were concerned more with health than ethics.
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| Also
in 1970, the gay liberation movement was stirring in Britain
and I threw myself into it as soon as I heard about it. Among
its many powerful influences was the almost ritualistic taking
of LSD which was thought essential by GLF's leading lights for
the dissolution of the self-oppression foisted on us by our
treatment throughout human history as socially worthless parasites.
GLF pioneered techniques for the rebuttal of mainstream society's
vicious lies about us and thus for the historic recovery of
our pride in ourselves as valuable equal citizens.
As a result of all these dramatic changes, I dropped out (for
the second time!) and threw myself into the alternative culture
that was burgeoning everywhere at the time. This in turn led
to two other important events in my life. First, a musician
friend and I formed a band called Everyone Involved
and spent a year making an album called Either/Or which,
once finished, we idealistically gave away free, sometimes in
the street. (Chapter Music, an Australian record-company,
will shortly release Strong Love - a compilation
CD of out-front gay songs with A Gay Song
from Either/Or featured as the first
ever recording of a proud gay song in the world!) Second, in
1974, I was a founder-member of Gay Sweatshop,
the theatre group which, in early 1975, staged the world's first
season of proud gay plays, including one of mine called Ships.
Two world firsts! Wow! I felt, legitimately, proud of myself
at last. (See links below for more on this.) |
| The
forming of Everyone Involved and the making of Either/Or
led to the most important event of my life. One day in October
1971, the band's keyboard player turned up at a rehearsal session
with a seventeen-year-old school friend called Peter Granger
and I fell instantly, completely, absolutely, unconditionally
and utterly in love with this magnificent man who became the
emotional core of my life and remains so to this day. |

Peter Granger
in 1976
| Our
magical loving friendship lasted for fourteen years until, on
October 22nd 1986, my true love was run down and killed by a
bunch of brainless teenagers in a stolen car. Wretched with
shock, despair and disbelief, I was almost overwhelmed with
grief for years until I conceived the idea of writing and publishing
a poem to celebrate the joy and privilege of knowing the best
and most beautiful man that ever lived. See Beloved
Friend below.
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| A
quarter of a century has passed since Pete's tragic death and
forty years since I first met him and my love for him has not
diminished one jot. On the contrary, I've slowly and painfully
come to understand what a privilege it was to experience perfect
love even for those few brief years. To such an extent that,
by the turn of the millenium, life had become rich and rewarding
again. Then, just before Christmas 2002, another event occurred
to bring a taste of Peter Granger magic back to my life when
his widow rang me from her home in California to tell me their
son, James, now aged 17, had decided to return to London. She
asked if I could help him find somewhere to live and I was so
stunned, astonished and honoured at this totally unexpected
reconnection with the magic man of my life that for a moment
or two I was speechless; when I got my breath back, I said:
"It would be a privilege."
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| I'd
last seen James as a toddler in his father's arms but when we
met again I found he'd grown up into an enchanting young man
(of the exact age his father was when I first met him!) with
Pete's looks, charm and charisma. At our first meeting as adults
we connected instantly and I truthfully told him his father
would have been proud of him. This wonderful turn of events
brought out all my nurturing instincts with the added bonus
of having an amazing spiritual "son" to be proud of.
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After seven rewarding and eventful years
living in London James decided to return to California where
he's currently working in Oakland. Although I personally preferred
it when he lived here and I knew every single day that
he might turn up at my door with his habitual cheery greeting
and honest shining eyes - so like his wonderful father's! -
I also know that he's a wanderer like his father so I'm confident
he'll turn up in London again one of these days - a thought
that makes me smile. |
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As for me, because of extensive air travel in the first half
of my life (round the world three times!) I acknowledge that
my personal carbon allowance has all gone and the only possible
moral decision for me now is to confine myself to walking, cycling
and public transport. |
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For
the past two years I've been busy with 40th anniversary celebrations
of London GLF. First, by contributing articles for the London
Pride website: (see About
Time Too and A Hopeless But Heartfelt
Gesture below); second, by contributing photos,
films, videos etc. to various London Pride events; third, by
organising a reprint of the original Gay Liberation
Front Manifesto (see below) and lastly, on
Gay Pride Day 2010, by joining other GLF veterans to lead a
million marchers along the same route a few hundred of us took
40 years before. Back then we were defiant rather than
proud - but as you can see from the photo below this
time we were cheered and applauded all the way! (I’m in the
centre, hand in hand with my old GLF friend, Andrew Lumsden.)
The blond man on the extreme left is Boris Johnson, Mayor of
London, who had the cheek to join us at the front of the march
despite his track record (when an MP) of voting against every
piece of liberalising legislation introduced by the previous
labour government so that, thanks to him and others like him,
all we GLF veterans had to wait till we were old-age pensioners
to get the same civil rights he's enjoyed all his life. |

| So
now, I'm back where I started, making solitary daily explorations
into the fascinating world of exotic creatures that inhabit
London's urban jungle whose forests contain denizens every bit
as baffling and considerably more dangerous than those I first
encountered over sixty years ago on my daily explorations of
the idyllic Surrey countryside of my childhood. |
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