A LABOUR OF LOVE
My
struggle to write a new
English translation
worthy of
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
brilliant LE
PETIT PRINCE.
by
Alan Wakeman
| When I first read
Saint-Exupéry’s LE PETIT
PRINCE while studying French at l’Alliance
Française in Paris thirty years ago I was captivated
by his profound, witty, lovingly-crafted, moving story and his
simple, everyday spoken French. But when I bought the English
translation for a friend I was so bitterly disappointed I didn’t
hand it over. The so-called ‘classic’ English translation
- by Katherine Woods - is literal, clumsy, twee and riddled
with errors. (Ask yourself why Heinemann sell more copies of
it in Japan than in Britain!) She conveys the meaning but misses
the essence. It’s a measure of the strength of the original
story that, despite this handicap, it has remained in print
for fifty years. |
| Getting the
meaning right is the easy part for a translator; capturing the
essence is harder and may be impossible. Take this French word
play: ‘Si six scies scient six cyprès chaque scie
scie son cyprè.’ Literally translated, it means:
‘If six saws saw six cypresses each saw saws its cypress.’
But the meaning isn’t the point. The point is that, spoken
aloud, the same sound is repeated six times. It is clearly impossible
to translate this and the meaning without recourse to footnotes
- out of the question for a children’s story. So what
is a translator to do? Depending on the context an English joke
sentence might be used; something like: ‘smith where jones
had had had had had had had had had had had more effect on the
examiner’ where the meaning is similarly immaterial. (It
makes sense if correctly punctuated: see below*) But what if
an author had skilfully incorporated the literal meaning into
the finished text too? |
Despite such conundrums, in
1979, twenty years after I first read LE
PETIT PRINCE,
I determined to attempt a new translation myself as a labour
of love. (I knew no matter how successful my new version there
was no possibility of publishing it before the copyright expired
in 1994.) The opening sentence of Chapter XI is an example of
the thorny problems I faced. In the original French it reads:
‘La seconde planète était
habitée par un vaniteux.’
literally:
‘The second planet was inhabited by
a vain man.’
Katherine Woods translates this almost word for word:
‘The second planet was inhabited by
a conceited man.’
|
But although in French ‘vaniteux’
and ‘vaniteuse’ are common words (meaning ‘vain
man’ and ‘vain woman’) we have no equivalent
in everyday English. Maybe this is because vanity is the dark
side of chic - another common French word! Significantly, the
French often say the English lack chic. They’re probably
right but this may be because we have less vanity too. Certainly
I’ve never seen a pub or café in England with mirrors
lining every vertical surface. In France it’s a common
sight, though why customers should want to check they’re
still chic every few seconds is beyond me. (I’ve seen
them doing it and it looked like vanity to me.) My point is
that perhaps a word for ‘vaniteux’ doesn’t
exist in English because we have less need of it. So how is
the word to be translated? Well, LE PETIT
PRINCE is for children who would never
say: ‘A conceited man inhabits...!’ but might say:
‘A show-off lives…’ So I opted for:
|
| ‘On
the second planet lived a show-off.’
It’s still not perfect but it’s certainly closer
to the spirit of the original. (The very week my new translation
was finally published in 1994, I was walking past a school playground
and heard one child shout at another: 'You swank!'
Of course! The perfect word! If my translation's ever reprinted
I'll try to get the publisher to agree to 'show off' being changed
to 'swank' in the four or five places it occurs.)
|
| And to support my claim that my translation
is generally closer to the spirit of Saint-Exupéry’s
original, here are a few more examples, together with word-for-word
translations, Katherine Woods’s versions and mine. |
| In the opening
chapter, after describing how he became a pilot, Saint-Exupéry
writes about how lonely his life has been...
‘...jusqu’à une panne dans
le désert du Sahara, il y a six ans...’
literally...
‘...just to a break-down in the desert
of Sahara, there is six years...’
which Katherine Woods renders...
‘..until I had an accident with my plane
in the Desert of Sahara, six years ago...’
|
| Notice that Saint-Ex
makes no reference to ‘accident’ or ‘plane’
and that ‘panne’ means ‘breakdown’.
Furthermore, have you ever heard a native English speaker refer
to the ‘Desert of Sahara’? This is my version:
‘...until six years ago when I had a
break down in the Sahara Desert...’
|
| After the little
prince’s astounding appearance ‘a thousand miles
from human habitation’ Saint-Ex comments:
‘Or mon petit bonhomme ne me semblait
ni égaré, ni mort de fatigue, ni mort de faim,
ni mort de soif, ni mort de peur...’
Literally:
‘Now my little goodman nor me seemed
nor lost, nor dead of fatigue, nor dead of hunger, nor dead
of thirst, nor dead of fear.’
which KW renders as:
‘And yet my little man seemed neither
to be straying uncertainly among the sands, nor to be fainting
from fatigue or hunger or thirst or fear.’
This is my version:
‘Yet this little fellow didn't seem
to be either lost, or tired, or hungry, or thirsty, or frightened.’
|
Later Saint-Ex
asks the little prince:
‘Où est-ce chez toi?’
literally:
‘Where is it at yours?’
Which KW, unbelievably, has rendered:
‘What is this ‘where I live’
of which you speak?’
while I’ve simply put what any grown-up would ask a child:
‘Where's your home?’
|
There are even
places where KW has the meaning wrong. (Surely they can’t
be typograph-ical errors after fifty years in print?) For example,
at one point Saint-Ex writes:
‘Si je vous ai raconté ces détails
sur l’astéroide B 612 et si je vous ai confié
son numéro, c’est à cause des grandes personnes.’
Literally:
‘If I you have recounted these details
on the Asteroid B 612 and if I you have confided its number,
it is for the cause of large persons.’
Unaccountably, Katherine Woods’s version of this is:
‘If I have told you these details about
the asteroid, and made a note of its number for you, it is on
no account of the grown-ups and their ways.’
which not only omits the number referred to but means the exact
opposite of Saint-Ex’s original! This is my translation:
‘I've given all these details about
Asteroid B 612, including its number, for the benefit of grown
ups.’
The next paragraph - too long to quote here - confirms that
I’m right about this.
|
Some of Katherine Woods’s
translations make me wonder what her native tongue was because
her English is often grammatically wrong. For example, where
Saint-Ex has:
‘Alors les épines, à quoi
servent-elles?’
literally:
‘Then the spines, to what serve they?’
she has:
‘Then the thorns, what use are they?’
Which is not only clumsy but bad English. (Definite articles
are not used for generalisations.) This is my version:
‘So what's the point of thorns then?’
|
And compare:
‘A cet instant-là je me disais:
< Si ce boulon résiste encore, je le ferai sauter
d’un coup de marteau. >’
Literally:
‘At this instant there I me said <If
this bolt resists more, I it will make jump of a blow of hammer.’
KW has:
‘At that instant I was saying to myself:
“If this bolt still won’t turn, I am going to knock
it out with the hammer.”’
This is my translation:
‘At that moment I was thinking: “If
this bolt resists one second longer, I'll knock it to bits with
a hammer.”’
|
Here’s
another example of the same mistake:
‘Il faut bien que je supporte deux ou
trois chénilles si je veux connaître les papillons.
Il paraît que c’est tellement beau. Sinon qui me
rendra visite? Tu seras loin, toi. Quant aux grosse bêtes,
je ne crains rien. J’ai mes griffes.’
Word-for-word, this reads:
‘It makes well that I support two or
three caterpillars if I wish to know the butterflies. It seems
that it’s so beautiful. If not who will me visit? Thou
wilt be far, thou. As to the gross animals, I not fear nothing.
I have my claws .’
KW laboriously, incorrectly and ungrammatically renders this
as:
‘Well, I must endure the presence of
two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with
the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful. And
if not the butterflies - and the caterpillars - who will call
upon me? You will be far away... As for the large animals, I
am not at all afraid of any of them. I have my claws.’
Teachers of English as a foreign language will recognise: ‘if
not the butterflies - and the caterpillars - who will call upon
me?‘ as typical foreign student’s bad grammar and
inelegance. Besides, ‘caterpillars and butterflies’
don’t even figure in the phrase in question. This is my
version:
‘I must put up with a few caterpillars,
mustn’t I, if I want to see butterflies? I hear they're
so beautiful. Besides, who else will come to see me? You'll
be far away. As for big animals, they don't frighten me. I've
got my claws . . .’ |
A word or two
about question phrases (‘Must I? Don’t you? Have
you? Wouldn’t he? etc.) The twelve special verbs that
make them in English (called anomalous finites) are also used
for negatives, interrogatives, short form replies and several
other expressions unique to English. Nothing remotely like them
appears in the original wording of any foreign text. (Some languages
express one form with an invariable ‘isn’t it?’
e.g. ‘N’est-ce pas?’ in French tagged onto
anything, but that’s as far as it goes.) Yet these expressions
are an integral part of English syntax. Consider this interchange:
‘I’ve just sold my car.’
‘Oh, you have, have you?!’
With five short words the second speaker expresses surprise
and disbelief and simultaneously confirms accurate perception
of what was said (by repetition of the anomalous finite used,
in the tense used, by the first speaker). If the second speaker
had replied:
‘Couldn’t you?!’
the first speaker would have known immediately that he or she
hadn’t heard properly. This is one of many practical,
efficient communication devices made possible by the twelve
anomalous finites. Now consider the plight of a French translator
faced with this piece of dialogue. How is the second speaker’s
utterance to be translated? The only solution is to imagine
what a French speaker might say in a similar context. Probably:
‘C’est pas vrai!’
But suppose you then had to translate this back into the original
English. Katherine Woods would undoubtedly have put:
‘It is not true!’
and missed it. In fact few translators have experience teaching
English to foreigners, or are aware of anomalous finites, or
of much English syntax at all, but this surely doesn’t
mean a text translated from a foreign tongue should never contain
these quintessentially English forms, does it?!
|
I’ve saved another Katherine
Woods’s howler till last. Where Saint-Ex has: ‘Bonne
nuit, fit le petit prince à tout hasard.’
Literally: ‘Good night, made the little
prince at all hazard.’
KW has: ‘“Good evening,”
said the little prince courteously.’
Which she must have known was downright wrong. This is my version:
‘“Good evening,” said the
little prince, on the off chance.’ |
| Sometimes, happily,
a phrase works better in the new language than it did in the
original. Thus where Saint-Ex has:
‘Ce sera tellement amusant! Tu auras
cinq cents millions de grelots, j’aurai cinq cents millions
de fontaines..’
Literally:
‘It will be so amusing! Thou wilt have
five hundred millions of bells, I shall have five hundred millions
of fountains...’
KW missed it, of course:
‘That will be so amusing! You will have
five hundred million little bells, and I shall have five hundred
million springs of fresh water!’
But I grabbed my chance:
‘It'll be fun! You'll have five hundred
million bells, and I'll have five hundred million wells...’
|
© Alan Wakeman 1994 |
| *Smith, where Jones had had "had", had had "had
had". "Had had" had had more effect on the examiner. |
|